Why Compassion – Self Compassion Can Be Hard For Those Who Have Experienced Trauma
What Changes When You Work With Your Body
Meditation, body scanning and yoga nidra, practices passed down through yogic tradition and now verified by neuroscience — listen to what the body has to say. Through sensation rather than narrative, people access wisdom that is different to ruminating thoughts. And in that access, clarity arrives and often it is quite quickly.
The belief “I’m not enough” is a story a six-year-old invented to survive something beyond their control.
As you learn to breathe into the places your body holds tension — with gentleness rather than judgment, there is a letting go that allows something else to be revealed to you. The body recognises it’s finally being heard. That recognition is the beginning of self-compassion. Felt in the body, not just understood in the mind.
Self-trust is born in the same moment — because you’re learning to listen to your own body like it matters. Holding yourself moment to moment. Quiet, grounded confidence. Not bravado. Just being okay with how you feel.
The Cycle Breaks When You Know There’s Always Something You Can Do
One of the most damaging patterns I witness — in clients, in caring professions, across generations is : if we don’t know what to do, we do nothing.
Emotions get shoved under the carpet. Warnings get ignored. Children learn not to ask because no one knows how to help. And the cycle continues.
The moment someone realises there is always something they can do, is the moment that everything can change (especially for our little people and / or our most vulnerable)
Yoga Nidra and Guided Mindfulness that is Trauma Informed is a safe way to access your body’s wisdom, guided with care. Insights can be quick, clear and life-changing.
A note on the neuroscience:
Practices like yoga nidra and body scanning are not woo woo. Research confirms that meditative states allow the brain to integrate competing parts — the parts that haven’t yet healed or processed experience. Nervous system repair is the foundation of relationship repair, starting with the relationship you have with yourself.
A Practice to Start With — Compassionate Body Scan (5 minutes)
Find a comfortable place to lie or sit. Eyes open or closed. Take a few moments to gently squeeze and release the body. Bring to mind someone or something you have compassion for (it can be a person or a pet) – notice where and how you sense this in your body. Let your attention rest here for at least seven long slow deep breaths.
Starting at your head, move slowly down through your body — forehead, jaw, throat, chest, belly, legs. At each place, notice what’s actually there. Tension, warmth, numbness, heaviness. Without judgment. Without trying to fix anything.
When you find a place that holds something, pause. Breathe gently into it. Say quietly: May I offer myself compassion – like I would another human being. My body is doing its best. I’m listening now.
Move through your whole body this way. Five minutes. Teaching your nervous system that gentleness and breathing and being with this is safe. That you’re worth listening to.
What Comes Next
Self-compassion is the opposite of selfish. It’s the only way you’ll have anything left to give.
When the relationship you have with yourself changes, every other relationship follows — how you respond to others, what you believe you deserve, what you’re able to offer without resentment.
If you’re tired of your own internal critic, if the shame feels like an old companion you’re ready to bring compassion into your practice — this is one of the wings of Mindfulness – and it is so powerful. It has been transformational for many I have worked with and although I personally initially struggled with this – with time, patience and perseverance it has become a valuable strength. A strength that reminds me that there is always something you can do. You are not hopeless or helpless.
This blog draws on client companion resources and guided practices offered ion The Mindful Mentor Program and Trauma Informed Mindfulness Teacher Training by Tammy Williams
For more information contact +61 0439418571 tammy@yoga-nrg.com
