The below post was popped up on my instagram page – showing a couple of monkeys with their little baby monkeys – one monkey tries to reach out to hit or snatch at the other baby monkey – and it’s Mum strikes out to protect it.
Every situation in nature is different. But there is a part in all of us creatures that know what feels right and what doesn’t. Reactions can often be judged as bad. There can be a warped idea that if you’re a good yogi or meditation practitioner you shouldn’t react🙉💩
Consider the metaphor ~ certain parts of your brain need you to feel a sense of connecting to others. Think of it like hugging the monkey.
Other parts of the the brain need you to feel safe (we go further into this in my Mindfulness Mentoring & Teacher Training
Sometimes it’s the right time to hug the monkey. Other times it’s timely to make it clear when a boundary has been overstepped.
Reactions do not make you a bad person
They are natural & at times necessary for setting clear boundaries. What is and isn’t ok can be felt in the body and can & needs to rise up quick at times.
Mums & Dads know these instincts well when protecting their babies. What might feel like a sense if striking out or rejection to one monkey may feel protective and caring for another.
In Mindfulness we learn about how to cope with our own reactions and those of others.
One of the hardest things to come to terms with at times is judgement because it causes us to feel disconnected. We can be criticised or self critical for very normal & natural responses.
In meditation and in daily life we can watch a reaction come up, it may even come out
Sometimes it should come out for self protection or for the safety of others. Especially if someone is attacking you.
The next step we can practice is realising it’s natural & normal to help it settle. Nervous System Regulation can help the initial trauma or triggered trauma getting stuck in it’s loop.
It can also pave the way for a more healthy relationship to continue that is safe, real and one that can evolve into something that has a better connection once good boundaries are established
It may also clear out relationships that you do not want or that are not good for you or those you love.
Perhaps the sort of connection one monkey wants is different from another
And that is nature too.
Monkeys can tend to just get on with it. But humans can be a bit more complex, especially if there has been complex trauma.
Take some time to hug the monkeys that need you the most. And hug the monkey in your mind that simply wants connection. For that to happen it needs to feel safe too.
Be mindful not to give yourself a hard time for reacting.
For the sensitive monkeys out there remembering reactions and dis-connections are not personal its part of nature, yes they can give you a shock or hurt…… But letting them “carry on” hurts more.
It’s why meditation and mindfulnessI so helpful
It helps us to discern between true compassion & fools compassion.
Sharpening your sword of discernment to see what others are attempting to do and although we may not want to step onto the battle field (just like Arjuna in the Gita) sometimes we have to because it is our duty.
The hardest part can be stepping off the battle field , especially in the mind when what is done is done.
It’s important to strengthen our Mindfulness so we don’t miss when a new day has begun.
When we can pull ourselves off the battle field in the mind, once the battle is over ~ Regardless of weather you win the battle, it is when you ‘realise’ you CAN step off, that is when the war is won.
Meditation or Co-Meditation together with a guide can be a way to “hug the monkey” to help recover from the battles
Battles are not fun, but they do happen to everyone
You are not alone in these struggles, but there is a way out.
Doubt your doubts.
If you struggle with excessive thoughts, self doubt or find it challenging to understand the mind, or minds of others.
If you would like to feel like you have more agency over your decisions, respond how you wish to, to move through often difficult circumstances with more support
Feel free to enquire about Mindfulness Teacher Training or Mindfulness Mentoring Program – private sessions or group session.
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