Everything must come to an end
A little story about – When will the “Penny” drop ? And F*ck*ing Telstr*
Mindfulness is not just about learning to be in the moment – to do that we have to learn to skilfully navigate our normal human desires. It’s often refreshing (even though a little scary) to enjoy new beginnings
It can be a little tricky to enjoy and sustain that joy as we go through our life – given all that life may challenge us with.
The biggest challenge (so far for me as odd as it may seem) is accepting everything that is born will die. And learning how to gracefully cope with technology & systems. I learned it wasn’t really technology & systems that was the challenge – the real challenge was learning to cope with my fear and reactivity to loss – loss of time, loss of special people and loss of ‘connection’ real connection!
I remember the loss of my first dog Dizzy – it was the most devastating thing I have ever experienced. It was not only the loss of a precious being that loved you but more so the loss of this special soul that you absolutely love every day. Nothing replaces that feeling of unconditional love you feel pouring out as you are greeted at the top of the stairs with shining eyes and a wagging tail
When I first got Dizzy as a little puppy it never once crossed my mind as odd as it may seem that I would have to go through the “letting go” an excruciating pain that rendered me almost in freeze mode not being able to do anything – I did not want to move – I would come to my yoga mat to Childs pose and just ball my eyes out and that was my yoga practice – that one pose and sobbing.
It took over a year and half to muster up the courage to invite a new baby into my life – why
Because this time the decision to want to love something so unconditionally meant I was consciously signing up to not only LOVE but to LET GO
The yearning and power of wanting to give love is obviously greater than the fear of loss otherwise I would not have been able to take that step
Thankfully I have another little set of eyes and a wagging tail waiting at the top of the stairs. A little companion that is always happy to see me, who doesn’t care if I am late, who appreciates being fed and provided for, who does not care about titles, achievements, wins and losses, who doesn’t get jealous of others she loves them too, all she cares about is:
Going for walks in nature
Eating her favourite food and treats
And although she loves going on adventures she always is so happy to come home or to see others arrive home!
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if humans understood what it means to be truly present and alive like this
But reality is we are not dogs , we are human.
We struggle with the cycle of life :
Mindfulness looks into this struggle and relieves some of the unnecessary suffering that goes along with clinging onto that which is good that we wish would last forever and realising that which is hard that we want to push away.
Trauma Aware Mindfulness offers practices for those of us who may get ‘stuck’ in fear due to what we may have experienced in our life. Stuck in our “red zone” responses weather that is :
Fight – always being on the front foot for threat
Flight – running away from even what is good ‘just incase’
Freeze – not wanting to move forward after being hurt some how or fear of being hurt again
Please – spending our time trying to please others to ‘make everything okay’ out of fear rather than following our hearts desire of what we truly want & need to feel free (and completely our true self)
Even though I have practiced Mindfulness formally and taught its practices to the public for nearly two decades – those very human instincts, challenges are still hard and still part of life.
I still find it hard to cope with being in the thick of “…it”
And no doubt I will be heart broken when I lose those people or pets I love loving
The difference is not in getting ‘over it’ quicker
It is choosing more consciously how I wish to spend my time right now
A light hearted example (that still sends my blood pressure up if I let it;) ….
F*(king Telstra however the more I practice Mindfulness & Meditation
I see that I can pace up and down , yell get cranky winge and throw the toys out of the cot on the other end of the phone – OR
Realise the truth of the matter – sometimes we have to go through things
If I want to be able to pick up a device to call my mum to tell her how much I absolutely LOVE her – then I may at times have to deal with the many flaws of technology
But I can wait on hold (nearly all day) being shafted by / from person to person all the while cuddling and playing with my dog up and down the hall way with her favourite toy !
Patience is not my strong point
Enduring stuff that I perceive is “waisting” my time can feel excruciating because life is SO SO PRECIOUS right.
But with Mindfulness sometimes a “PENNY” drops and you realise if you have to go through stuff you can do it in a way that you choose and find a way to give and receive love at the same time to those who really deserve your time, love, those who are right there in front of you.
In that moment of remembering (Mindfulness literally means “to remember” not just be present – but to ‘remember’ to pay attention , on purpose as if your “life” depends on it – because it does
That’s the text book definition from Jon Kabat Zin
However for me getting up everyday sitting with things as they are – even if at times its blubbering in Childs pose , or peacefully sipping my tea with Penny on my lap – this ten minutes to half an hour of “Remembering”
Who & how I really want to be, who and what is important to me
Helps me to find the courage to :
Hang up the phone when I need to
To dis-engage when I need to from the “time wasters” and turn my attention to something or someone who is in need, there waiting for love and attention
Not everyone is going to treat you or your time with respect and the care it deserves – even though your time is precious
Everyone is going through their own ‘stuff’ like coping working at jobs (like f*ck*ing Telstra as Carl Baron puts it
At the end of the day the most powerful thing we have got is where and how we place our attention and as the Buddha says :
How well did you live
How well did you love
How well did you learn to let go.
Meditation helps the “Penny” drop
What ever your “Penny” is I hope you realise it enough to enjoy it as nothing lasts for ever.
References Acknowledgements & Inspiration
Carl Baron – Fucking Telstra – to cheer you up over on my reals @tammy_yoga_nrg & here (thanks Nic for sending this to me)
Jon Kabat Zin – Mindfulness For Beginners
Mindfulness Teacher Training Level 1 & 2 coming up – click here
Mum – no contact information – she prefers not to be contacted by humans only dogs;) – just kidding mum – sort of 😉
From the Book – “Mindful Love notes from The Yoga Mat & Meditation Chair”
By Tammy Williams
Private Mindfulness Programs – click here 0r contact email@example.com / 0439418571