Mindful Love Notes : ‘Yoga off the Mat’ –
- ‘Tributes’ & The Healing Power of Music
- Handling Grief & Guilt with Care – wisdom from Eckart Tolle on ‘pain management’
- Songs as Sutras to reconnect to your True Self & the true essence in others – despite Ozzy Osbourne being associated to the dark (by the general public) – some enlightening quotes of his threaded throughout the blog that echos the Yoga Sutras.
See beneath the persona
– Yoga & Music has a way of stripping away the layers allowing us to connect to our essence and the essence of others.
I’ve been leaning on music more than ever these last couple of weeks & am grateful for the bridge that it’s given me to connect in someway with my Dad.
I love music & get a great deal of inspiration from it. Hearing of Ozzy Osbourne’s passing inspired me to pull out some old playlists – I use to play “Mumma I’m coming home” on my way back from Uni (while studying my Nursing Degree). It was a four hour round trip studying in Townsville and working night duties at the Bowen Hospital – so music was a constant companion to “wake me up” !
These past couple of weeks have also been a ‘wake up call’ (in a slightly different way) Learning about my Dad’s declining health is a message no one wants to receive. I have been reminded of the healing power of music while hosting Professor Bill Thompson during Yoga & Mindfulness Teacher Training at Yoga NRG. We included his research on the use of music as a therapeutic tool for individuals with dementia. We were discussing the importance of using Music as part of Yoga Therapy. My nursing experiences in Neurology wards , nursing homes and mental health care and my love of music & dance had inspired me to look deeper into the research to see how I could contribute to the ripple effect. At that time – little did I know I would be using this for my own family. My Dad shares my love of music too – Music Meditation & Cricket were the things that connected us. Dad was the first person to introduce me self help authors such as Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay & Deepak Chopra as well as the benefits of positive affirmation. His favourite phrase said repeatedly was “Isn’t it great to be alive” Tam – (something I later put on my first custom designed Surf Board).
Show your mind what you want for it is something I use often when working with clients experiencing depression, anxiety, grief & loss or burn out. All of which I have experienced myself – an obvious incentive to ongoing commitment in this field. It is not just about positive psychology – it is about understanding neural pathways and how we can make better use of them so our Mindfulness & Yoga practice can support us through different ages and stages of life. Neuro-science weaved into Yogic philosophy gives the evidence base and rational of what and why the yogis have been suggesting various tools for thousands of years (many from the Yoga Sutras)
Music much like Yoga has the capacity to peel back the layers of the heart and the mind. The news of Ozzy Osbourne’s passing, paired with visits to my Dad, whilst juggling Teacher Training, The Mindful Mentoring Program & Trauma Clients – has been the inspiration behind this post and a little more journalling. Writing also serves as a way I practice yoga & meditation, helping me process and reflect on what’s important during this particular chapter of my life. As always – perhaps the blog may offer some support or reminders for anyone else in a similar life chapter, or experiencing the struggle with the juggle & grief and loss.
Stripping away all of the external layers that make up our persona is part of the practice of Yoga. Navigating Grief and Loss – especially when you are losing a loved one (physically or mentally) rips away all of the insignificant layers and reveals what’s most important. When frailty & vulnerability are staring you in the face, there are no words – just realisation. Nothing lasts forever, everything is always changing. We can resist it or find ways to be at peace with it.
Life is like an onion, you peel it off one layer at a time – and sometimes you weep
Reading over a few of Ozzy Osbourne’s quotes and listening to my old playlist became momentary respite in between doing my best to ‘make space’ for the intense emotions. I’ve listed a few Ozzy Osbourne’s wisdom below (that may have been overshadowed by his public persona) These quotes ring true for me and serve as little additions to my own ‘Mindful Love Notes’ – they are synergistic to the suggestions you may hear in the Yoga Sutras to help us calm down the reactivity to what’s in the mind.
“Be careful – don’t bight off more than you can chew”
Despite this being associated with the one thing everyone seems to talk about when it comes to Ozzy Osbourne – the dreaded bat! It held a different meaning for me. It was reflective of a few of the Yamas & Niyamas in the Yoga Sutras. A reminder of moderation, not taking on too much and to ‘Make Space for Grace’.
Regardless of the “persona” you can often hear something deeper in someone’s voice if you are really listening and present to feeling what’s beneath the layers on the surface. I was glad my introduction to Ozzy Osbourne was his song Mumma I’m coming Home – well before seeing him or hearing about the ‘bat story’
“Never judge a book by its cover – I wake up a new person everyday”
There is always more going on for people beyond what you see on the surface. Listening to or playing music can help reveal it. Music does have the power to reconnect people with their sense of self and transform anxiety. I remembered viewing clips when Professor Thomas was giving his lecture to the Yoga NRG Teacher Trainees – and now it felt like I was living it as I felt the emotions well up – with Dad not responding.
“Out of everything I’ve lost I miss my mind the most”
Dementia can be cruel and hard to bare, when your loved ones are unresponsive and something brings them back to life – like music – it is both a relief and heart breaking at the same time.
Even though Dad did not know who I was – when I pulled out a playlist of his favourite songs – he responded. I could see & feel a familiar life-force kick back into gear – in Dads case it was “House of the Rising Sun” by the Animals that sparked that remembrance of connection to something he enjoyed. Along with Crowded House – “You Better Be Home Soon” & ironically enough – “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits
Everyone’s pathway back home to themselves is different. Music is one of my own ‘Mindful Love Notes’ because it helps me remember my way back home. Home to what’s important. In that moment not only did those songs help recover a little of Dads memory – they helped me recover parts of myself that I had hardened to cope. There’s a fine line between not getting caught up in what Echart Tolle calls the ‘pain body’ (becoming over identified with pain) and denial of what you really feel. In my experience denial is not conscious it’s a coping mechanism. So is distancing yourself. At times we may feel too much to the point of overwhelm – so the system shuts down. For me – this is where both Music & Yoga can re-open the door to the most raw and authentic feeling beneath all of the other feelings that have been and gone.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage”
Some people sing, some people write lyrics or poetry, some dance and some people learn the Art of Listening Deeply – it can all be a form of Yoga. To yoke – to harness the mind – enabling us to connect to something much bigger than who we ‘think’ we are.
Dedicating time to coming home to what’s really important at the end of the day – is a practice. So is bringing conscious awareness to ‘the pain body’ – using Mindfulness to help us see we are not our pain. This does not mean we cut ourself off from feeling. It does give us the opportunity to feel what we are feeling and move through it with greater awareness. More so it helps us do that without closing off to those we love.
“Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it”
The Yoga Sutras including the breath work (pranayama), cultivating steadiness & ease in poses (asana), shifting our awareness inward consciously (pratyahara), concentrating on the hear and now (dharana) can help us feel what is happening in the moment and learn to be with it as it is.
The Yoga Sutras also remind us to use our memory wisely – to remember the good times so we don’t lose our presence by getting caught by the things of the past that may have caused us to contract or to lose touch with our true essence.
Observing Resistance Within Yourself – is a useful practice when faced with strong emotions, thoughts or the tendency for the mind to get stuck going over the past. This maybe in the form of ‘should have, could have, would have’ story lines which if we identify with those may cause feelings of guilt to take ahold.
Eckhart Tolle makes suggestions that are echoed in the Yoga Sutras – if we identify with our pain we cannot be free of it.
“Observe the attachment to your pain. Be very alert. Observe your compulsion to think or talk about it. The resistance will cease if you make it conscious. You can then take your attention into the pain-body, stay present as the witness, and so initiate its transmutation. Only you can do this. If you are fortunate rough to find someone who is intensely conscious, if you can be with them and join them in a state of presence, that can be helpful and will accelerate things. In this way, your own light will quickly grow stronger”
In that moment of hearing playing “The House of the Rising Sun” there was a momentary freedom and remembrance in who we both were – at our essence & it helped us connect and truly see each other.
In my experience so far there is no way to do a spiritual bypass of Grief & Loss. There is a way to feel what you are feeling and have the courage to be with it. We can develop this capacity during Yoga Poses and during Meditation practice. Both can be guiding lights to help us stay with – instead of running away from the people you love. It takes courage, self awareness and sometimes Mindful Love Notes – in the form of Music to help you remember who you really are. Music you really love has a way of etching its notes into the fibres of your being – and when played can tug on the threads to bring you back to your True Self.
I’ll leave you with one last Mindful Love Note inspired by Ozzy Osbourne, that resonates
“What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us”
We are all vulnerable and frail individuals underneath any persona. Yoga has a way of cracking us open – layer by layer – helping us to realise how things really are. This week my Yoga has been using music not only as a Therapeutic Tool for Dad – but as a pathway home for us both to connect.
Find a way as best as you can to tell the people you love – that you are with them.
Namaste 🙏💝
Tammy xox
